Ever walk around in a drug store drunk, under the fluorescent lights, picking out a Mother's Day card, reeking of tequila ... with puffy, red eyes from crying?
No?
Well, you don't know how the hell to celebrate Cinco de Mayo, nerd.
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6 comments:
I'm gonna sneak into your home and finger you while you sleep.
You've been warned.
Quart!
I'm going to ruin your dreams!
Fool, you need to update this shit, fool.
I come here to learn about shit! And you ain't learnin' me nothing, you plastic Kroger bag full of hot dog farts!
I just ate 16 Dannon Active yogurts (peach). I'm coming over to sit on your couch pantsless. It's no big deal, really. Maybe I'll work a crossword. Maybe I'll play my Game Boy. Maybe I'll eat more yogurt, drink black coffee and smoke menthol cigarettes. Whatever activity I decide to do, without doubt, I aim to leak intestinal juices all over your couch as to make it soggy with ass drippings.
Only one thing can stop this, Joe: an update.
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