I've pretty much committed to leaving New Orleans when my lease expires. There are times when I still love it here, and there are people who make my time here great ... but, I've been spinning my wheels in the same place for years now. I'm worn out.
My exit strategy involves trying to find work that doesn't rely on geography ... or my proximity to a specific place. I want to be able to move somewhere I really enjoy, and work freely from there. Not have to depend on where work is to live somewhere.
It's proving to be extremely hard. But, I'm feeling creative ... and I think I can hammer it out. I have about a year and a half from now to get it done.
Aaaaaannnnd .... GO!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Get the Fun Back
A while back, I made a brief list of choices I can make and ways I can go about making my life more enjoyable again. In the past few years, a lot of the simple joys have seemingly gone bye-bye ... and surprisingly enough, I was able to point to a few things that caused it. I'm not one for resolutions, because they're really just well-intentioned lies. But, I'm slowly implementing some of these things, and I have to be honest ... it's helping. I plan to do every damn thing on the list at some point. Hopefully in this year. And hopefully that won't end up a well-intentioned lie.
1. Friendships. Real friendships are the most important thing. Surrounding myself with people I actually want to be around, not feel obligated to see. And surround myself with them often. Don't be afraid to call people on a whim.
2. Adventures. Little road trips, trips to the aquarium, the sculpture garden, the museum ... go places. Do things I've never done in the city, or haven't done in a long time. Doing new, fun things is key.
3. Photography. Get a decent camera and take pictures again. Lots of them. Name them. The fun I had with that and the quiet enjoyment I got out of taking and sharing them was huge. Back to the old school. Those moments are priceless, and video isn't the same.
4. Image. Get back in shape and start giving a fuck about how I look again. Start dressing better. It's okay to look good. It inspires confidence.
5. Guilt. Let go of the guilt I feel over people I may have hurt or may be hurting. Live my life for what makes me happy, and stop worrying about how every little thing I do affects other people. If my intentions are without malice, they don't warrant guilt. Be free.
6. Separate. Stop treating my life like it's a business or I'm an entertainer. Do things because I enjoy them, not because people are expecting output. I don't need to be prolific. I'm not making money off of these things. Create when I'm feeling creative, not because I feel obligated to. Don't worry about keeping up with twenty different online profiles and promotion. Let it go.
7. Drink. No, seriously .... drink more. Not fall-down drunk, but have a couple of drinks after work. Get loose. Allow myself to chase my own head around. De-stress. A bottle of good liquor, or beer in the fridge goes a long way.
8. Untether. Draw the line between work and real life. My job is not who I am. Live my real life after work and don't stress about it. I don't get paid enough to stress about it. Added responsibility is what killed magic in my life. Don't allow it to. It's just like an Alltel job (or any of my shitty jobs). It's just my job. It's what I do to pay bills and afford my REAL life afterward.
9. Write. Writing allows me to expound on thoughts and discover new ideas I never really thought about just by keeping the fingers moving. It's really my best form of expression. Get back into it. Blog more. Get back on Livejournal, if need be.
10. Emotions. Cry randomly when it hits me for seemingly no reason. Stop stifling that. Take little drives past places with memories attached, listen to sad music, and allow myself to feel those feelings. I've been acting like a super-efficient Spock for too long, and it's murdering emotion. Highs and lows are minimal. Allow myself to feel both intensely again. Push my own hand with these emotions, if need be.
11. Think. Go on drives and listen to music, go for a walk or jog. But, just unplug and allow myself to have ideas and enjoy my own thoughts.
12. Sex. I've played the field for a while now, and a lot of the guilt and stressful entanglement I've gotten into is because of that. Don't be so afraid to go after someone I'm genuinely interested in. I haven't been in love for over six years now. That feeling is amazing. Just getting laid is FUN ... but, it ultimately leads to stress and guilt and self-loathing and depression. Stop being afraid to be in a real relationship. With someone I genuinely feel something for.
13. Laze. Be unproductive. Take entire days and weekends where I do no writing or editing or podcasting. I don't need to stress myself out with these things when they're gaining me nothing. Instead, take the time to enjoy things around me. Wake up early and get drunk and play Mario Golf. Go eat and walk around. Whatever it may be, just have fun and don't worry about things that are essentially meaningless and nothing more than self-induced stresses.
14. Music. Get back into music, and actively seek out new and good songs and bands. New music creates an atmosphere, and will attach itself to events and memories in ways that enrich the entire experience.
15. Film. Start making Youtube videos again, and don't worry about how many views or comments they get. Just do it for fun. Don't force it. If there's a day where it feels good to create one, do it and share it. It's fulfilling to get those ideas out there just because I feel inspired to again.
16. Read. Reading gave me food for thought and enriched the way I saw the world. Take a day where I just lay around in bed and read. Go through a whole book in a day or two. Really dive in. Or just put time aside to commit to one. It helps the old brain.
1. Friendships. Real friendships are the most important thing. Surrounding myself with people I actually want to be around, not feel obligated to see. And surround myself with them often. Don't be afraid to call people on a whim.
2. Adventures. Little road trips, trips to the aquarium, the sculpture garden, the museum ... go places. Do things I've never done in the city, or haven't done in a long time. Doing new, fun things is key.
3. Photography. Get a decent camera and take pictures again. Lots of them. Name them. The fun I had with that and the quiet enjoyment I got out of taking and sharing them was huge. Back to the old school. Those moments are priceless, and video isn't the same.
4. Image. Get back in shape and start giving a fuck about how I look again. Start dressing better. It's okay to look good. It inspires confidence.
5. Guilt. Let go of the guilt I feel over people I may have hurt or may be hurting. Live my life for what makes me happy, and stop worrying about how every little thing I do affects other people. If my intentions are without malice, they don't warrant guilt. Be free.
6. Separate. Stop treating my life like it's a business or I'm an entertainer. Do things because I enjoy them, not because people are expecting output. I don't need to be prolific. I'm not making money off of these things. Create when I'm feeling creative, not because I feel obligated to. Don't worry about keeping up with twenty different online profiles and promotion. Let it go.
7. Drink. No, seriously .... drink more. Not fall-down drunk, but have a couple of drinks after work. Get loose. Allow myself to chase my own head around. De-stress. A bottle of good liquor, or beer in the fridge goes a long way.
8. Untether. Draw the line between work and real life. My job is not who I am. Live my real life after work and don't stress about it. I don't get paid enough to stress about it. Added responsibility is what killed magic in my life. Don't allow it to. It's just like an Alltel job (or any of my shitty jobs). It's just my job. It's what I do to pay bills and afford my REAL life afterward.
9. Write. Writing allows me to expound on thoughts and discover new ideas I never really thought about just by keeping the fingers moving. It's really my best form of expression. Get back into it. Blog more. Get back on Livejournal, if need be.
10. Emotions. Cry randomly when it hits me for seemingly no reason. Stop stifling that. Take little drives past places with memories attached, listen to sad music, and allow myself to feel those feelings. I've been acting like a super-efficient Spock for too long, and it's murdering emotion. Highs and lows are minimal. Allow myself to feel both intensely again. Push my own hand with these emotions, if need be.
11. Think. Go on drives and listen to music, go for a walk or jog. But, just unplug and allow myself to have ideas and enjoy my own thoughts.
12. Sex. I've played the field for a while now, and a lot of the guilt and stressful entanglement I've gotten into is because of that. Don't be so afraid to go after someone I'm genuinely interested in. I haven't been in love for over six years now. That feeling is amazing. Just getting laid is FUN ... but, it ultimately leads to stress and guilt and self-loathing and depression. Stop being afraid to be in a real relationship. With someone I genuinely feel something for.
13. Laze. Be unproductive. Take entire days and weekends where I do no writing or editing or podcasting. I don't need to stress myself out with these things when they're gaining me nothing. Instead, take the time to enjoy things around me. Wake up early and get drunk and play Mario Golf. Go eat and walk around. Whatever it may be, just have fun and don't worry about things that are essentially meaningless and nothing more than self-induced stresses.
14. Music. Get back into music, and actively seek out new and good songs and bands. New music creates an atmosphere, and will attach itself to events and memories in ways that enrich the entire experience.
15. Film. Start making Youtube videos again, and don't worry about how many views or comments they get. Just do it for fun. Don't force it. If there's a day where it feels good to create one, do it and share it. It's fulfilling to get those ideas out there just because I feel inspired to again.
16. Read. Reading gave me food for thought and enriched the way I saw the world. Take a day where I just lay around in bed and read. Go through a whole book in a day or two. Really dive in. Or just put time aside to commit to one. It helps the old brain.
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