If you don't update this goddamned blog in the next 24 hours, then it is a tacit admission of the following:
1. You adore Styx 2. This one time, you totally saw a guy who looked liked Michael Cera and you chased him down, only to discover that it wasn't Michael Cera, but an AIDS patient. You then made him reenact all of your favorite timorous Cera scenes, while you sipped a cheap beaujolais and threw nickels at him. 3. You frequent local Applebee's "restaurants" and demand that they make your meals more "NASCAR-y", often screaming in a guttural voice, "You motherfuckers! Would Dale Jarrett accept Southwestern Egg Rolls like this?!". 4. You called Glenn Beck at his home in Utah in order to discuss how to better hate people that are different from you. 5. You often hang around children's playgrounds wearing a shirt that says, "YOU'VE TRIED SUNNY D. I'VE GOT THE PURPLE STUFF".
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7 comments:
You ok? You seem a bit out of sorts.
Somebody needs a shrink......or a hooker.
I done landed up in this bitch. You children are gonna get it now.
cycles eventually end in semi-crisp clothing
*tumbles through this deserted blog, down the information superhighway and towards other barren landscapes*
Mr. Joseph Cardosi! Only YOU can strikeout blog abandonment!
If you don't update this goddamned blog in the next 24 hours, then it is a tacit admission of the following:
1. You adore Styx
2. This one time, you totally saw a guy who looked liked Michael Cera and you chased him down, only to discover that it wasn't Michael Cera, but an AIDS patient. You then made him reenact all of your favorite timorous Cera scenes, while you sipped a cheap beaujolais and threw nickels at him.
3. You frequent local Applebee's "restaurants" and demand that they make your meals more "NASCAR-y", often screaming in a guttural voice, "You motherfuckers! Would Dale Jarrett accept Southwestern Egg Rolls like this?!".
4. You called Glenn Beck at his home in Utah in order to discuss how to better hate people that are different from you.
5. You often hang around children's playgrounds wearing a shirt that says, "YOU'VE TRIED SUNNY D. I'VE GOT THE PURPLE STUFF".
24 hours, Joe. 24.
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